Unforgivable Commercials

Fritz at his craziest - and youngest. This is the earliest footage of Fritz Stansson that I know of, and clearly, he's always been hilarious. One begins to wonder if Fritz and Hodge live with their parents in the suburbs; I believe they are outside in all these videos because they are afraid their parents are going to think they're nuts. I would be a little concerned if my son was angrily speaking about fucking and killing bitches and grabbing his friend "Orpheus's dick for him." Or I would think my son is hilarious.

• "You'ze a bitch, and I'm ain't."

• "You ain't no virgin, is you?"

• "Went to Home De-POT, saw a lot of bitches."

• "Took her to management and reported a problem."

• "...but I ain't never seen a bitch turn away a dick."

• "We was slangin' rock and drankin' forties like it wudn't nuttin'." (This is how I roll)

• "Look here BITCH.... we wanna run train."

• "I took out my nigga Orpheus's dick for him, put it in her pussy."

• "She was flabbergasted."

• "A bitch walked up..." (I say this one randomly with no coherent context, I don't know why I think it's so funny)
  

• "I'll show you what I like... went out to the shedhouse, got a chainsaw, came back in, hacked her brain in two pieces, picked it up, ate it, threw it up, took her to the family..."

• "I took out my knife, cut off her nipples, made her give me head, took a crap in her face, loved her, hated her, blew her brains out."